Never A Dull Moment

Well it's not the "naked employee" but it was just as exciting. I was at work the other afternoon meeting with a sales rep on a new product. We were conversing at the tables in the front when I heard a commotion between my employee and a "woman" that walked in. I guess the "woman" didn't like the way my employee was cleaning the counter so she grabbed the rag out of her hand and told her so. This was just the beginning. She started to explain that she wanted to return the skirt she had purchased the day before. My employee kindly told her that there were no returns which set the "woman" off on a rampage at which point she came over to me. How she knew I was the one to come to I don't know. Anyway "she" was actually a man dressed as a woman so it was disturbing already. She very emphatically told me she wanted to return the skirt. Now my philosophy on wackos is just to get them out of the store as soon as possible with as little drama as I can. I decide at this point that I will just give the "woman" back her $5 (yes the skirt was only $5) but that I would need the skirt back. I told her so but unfortunately after it came out of my mouth I tried to take it back since she was wearing it and quickly preceded to undress right in front of me. Thankfully she was very in to clothes because she had another ensemble on underneath. It was a one piece jean jumpsuit that I am sure Kristy or Becky would look great in since they pull them off so well. She left the skirt on the floor where we discovered the she had peed in it as well as some other gross unmentionables.
Our new friend stayed for quite awhile after this so my plan didn't work. She decided to shop for more clothes, relocate the tip jar to the trash can, fill out an entry form for a free spa treatment, as well as ask if she could have our pen . We will miss her.