So I need to admit something. I am not very deep. Some of you probably have already come to this realization. I am sure I have my moments occasionally but overall I feel that I am lacking. I tried Women's Study for awhile but always left feeling worse about myself because for one I don't like sharing and for another I never received the emotional moving that others seemed to be feeling. I often times feel envious reading all the blogs because everyone has these great insights to share and I make "Wish Lists" and "Reasons I Know I am Pregnant".
Now the big problem is not the blogs or Women's Group it is my relationship with Christ. I love the Lord and I feel for the most part I lead my life that way but when it comes to the intimacy part-well like I said I am lacking. People talk about the Lord leading them and speaking to them. They are moved tremendously when they read the Word. When I read the Bible most of the time I might as well be reading the dictionary. This doesn't mean that I don't see God working in my life. I see Him answering prayers and showing me things all the time. I just wish that I would feel that deep one on one connection with Him. That when I read a verse on how much He loved me that I would feel that he was speaking directly to me and that they weren't just words.
Now this isn't a post where you all have to try and make me feel better or give me the answers because thankfully I know what the problem is. I am not letting Him connect with me one on one through the Word. How can I when I don't give Him my time and energy? If I spent half the time reading the Bible as I do these blogs then maybe I wouldn't have a post to write right now. I already spoke to a few of you today about how I look for fulfillment from other people when I am not letting God be the one to fulfill me. If I don't let Him be the one to fulfill my every need then it will be a constant issue. The challenge will be to let that happen. So I will be making a commitment to reach that goal. You can be praying for me.
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About Me
- Kara
- Wife and mother of two beautiful,wild,little girls. I love the Lord and try to glorify Him in my daily grind.
8 comments:
I'm not going to try to make you feel better, but I DO want you to know that what you are feeling is incredibly profound, and only a conviction of someone who truly loves God and what He's all about. I am soooo excited and honored to be a part of your life, Kara.
Love you.
Lauren
Kara, I love your honesty. I hope we don't have to be deep to have it going on with Christ because I definitely don't have many deep thoughts. But I do know that the more time I spend with Christ the more alive His word becomes to me. It's awesome to see how Christ is drawing you to Himself in this "season". I will be praying for you. How lucky I am to call you friend after all these years!!!
Love you,
Heather
I think that if we all are honest that we each have something that we use to fill us instead of God at times. Whether it is other people, exercise(could that be?), food, scrapbooking, or something else. Kudos, Kara, for putting your finger on the issue and walking forward with Him. I WILL be praying for you...and me too.
Good point Shan.
Becky's is DEFINITELY scrapbooking.
K-LO, (my new nickname for you)
I'm like Heather, I love your honesty. This post was deep and very moving. Thanks for sharing your heart with us. I'll be praying for you sis'.
Kara,
you know I don't know what to say because I would hate to make you feel better. But here's anotherpost to add to your numbers! How's that for deep???
This post seems to be a paradox. Do me a favor please don't get too deep on me. I love your posts just the way they are and often they might be just what I need at the moment.
I will pray for your pursuit of the Lord, he is faithful.
Love you. Call me after S60 tonight.
I too feel at times that I allow some things of this world to consume me, and neglect my relationship with the Lord. Not too long ago in fact, my computer was out. At first it was frustrating, and then I started filling that time with other things, more important things. And was slightly disappointed when it returned home in all it’s glory. I have made an effort to not let it take up too much of my time, but it slides in there somehow. As I type this I have more than a couple of loads of laundry waiting on me. . .
Now that I am a parent I think of my Heavenly Father looking down on me like I do my own kids. I can only imagine what He thinks when I chose a cool new “toy” over spending time with him. . . . .
I’ve gotta’ go! My Dad’s callin’
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